She’s One of the Worst Friends You’ll Ever Have

For one, she’s never satisfied. Ever.

She’ll give “subtle” acne tips, because even one or two dark spots on a face is unacceptable.

It’s inelegant. Makes you look slightly… “brutish” maybe, maybe that’s the word.

She’ll suggest you get braces.

Gaps are too stereotypically “Southern.” Your smile’s pretty, but it’d be even prettier without it.

Every once in a while, she’ll open your closet, hold up an article of clothing (it’ll be a favorite of yours), ask why you own it.

It’s not particularly flattering… if you turn that way, it makes your shape look funny.

For every pound you lose, she’ll ask why you couldn’t lose one more. She’ll ask why your 4.2 GPA wasn’t a 4.5. And countless other trivial things you wouldn’t even think about if she wasn’t your friend, telling you these things as often as she did.

Unfortunately, she was not only a friend; she was a childhood friend. I don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t know her, actually; she was always just kind of there. Always holding my hand, always in the background ready to offer sage advice—having to do with anything from clothing, to romance, to school, to work. Any and every facet of my life has her in it; she’s embroidered somewhere in all of my life’s details, etched so very carefully into its fabric. And I’ve never hated anyone more.

She’s beautiful, effervescent—knows how to command a room, I’ll give her that. You’ve probably run into her at some point somewhere, but if you haven’t, consider yourself very lucky. You’ve also heard her name a million times, I’m sure, but take heed to this warning of one million and one: her name’s Insecurity, and she’s one of the best liars I’ve ever met.

Knows that the only thing a good liar has to worry about is being convincing. Not so much the often used tactic of mixing lies and truth—just telling a lie good enough to make the truth sound suspicious. And that’s what she does best.

I told her I was going back to school. Don’t ask why, I honestly don’t know—maybe I was extending an olive branch for the sake of nostalgia, because I’d known her so long that I didn’t know what it was like not to, and telling her things first was still a habit I had yet to break.

She reacted about as well as you’d expect.

Well, for one, it’d look kind of silly. Nearly all of your friends have graduated… so it’d look a bit awkward for you to go back at this moment, wouldn’t it?

And aren’t you worried about your major? Getting lost in the work of it all? If you truly are going to go through with this, maybe try something a little more suited to your more obvious interests, like English or…

I don’t know what she said after that.

I do know that I proceeded to apply to college the next day, anyway. With the plan to pursue a BS in Criminal Justice.

I start classes this summer. 🥳

That concludes storytime for today 📖. Enjoy the rest of your Thursday💗.

(And if you happen to see her around, well... I can't tell you what to do, but I'd advise you to pretend that you don't.)

Until next time xx

IG: @joyyy_reads ✨